Chuck Full O’Blog Contest: Name My Flask!

 

Most couples would cringe at the notion of allowing strangers on the internet to name their child. I, on the other hand, welcome the internet’s creative spark in naming my baby. Cue the Chuck Full’O Blog Contest – Name My Flask!

I’ll never forget that snowy Christmas Day a mere two years ago. Waking up in my childhood bed, I crept downstairs during the wee hours of the morning with the giddy anticipation that accompanies the prospect of receiving free shit.

Walking towards the semi-bare Christmas tree, one particular gift called out to me. It was as if the heavens were shining a beam of light down upon the small, poorly-wrapped godsend. I tore through the wrapping paper and laid eyes upon the beatific vision; a flask, covered in fake leather and sporting the Playboy Bunny logo.

It was love at first sight, and a purchase that my parents have regretted buying ever since.

Ever since that morning, the two of us have been together through good times and bad. With my trusty flask by my side, I’ve met incredible friends, been punched in the face and head-butted, danced as if I was rolling on ecstacy, gotten thrown out of bars, travelled far and wide, and vomited many a night away.

The time has come to name my precious child, and I call upon Chuckblog’s loyal readers for help. On the comments section of this post, please submit a name for my dear flask. It can be nearly anything – from the name of a convicted sex offender in your neighborhood to scottbrundage.com-inspired gibberish. Just try to keep it relatively clean. I mean, my Mommy does read this blog.

Submissions will be accepted until 9:00pm on Friday (3/21). At that time, I will announce the winner, fill my baby up with vodka, and toast to her new name. A panel of my degenerate friends will choose the winning name. Your contribution will have a lasting impact on both Chuckblog and my liver.