Charles and I are still in Flagstaff, and we have no fucking clue why. Anyone who has ever seen “Stand By Me” will recognize the dialogue exchanged between Gordie Lachance and Chris Chambers that perfectly summarizes our unending time in “Flag”:
Chris: I’m never gonna make it outta this town am I, Gordie?
Gordie: You can do anything you want, man.
We’ve repeated this mantra to each other hourly as we struggle to pack up our shit and get back on the road. As I write this, Charles sleeps on Mike Smith’s bed, recovering from a night out with several of Flagstaff’s most reputable citizens. I’m sitting at Mike’s computer trying in vain to compose a post that is intelligible. Clearly, we both possess a single-mindedness that can be stopped by nothing.
For any of you Chuckblog readers who have never been to Flagstaff, Arizona (and I presume that there are many of you), I’ll do my best to accurately describe it:
- Hippies. Everywhere. Fucking disgusting!
- Six inches of snow in May. Charles and I woke up and looked out the window, looked at each other, and cowered under the blankets like 7-year old school girls. I would have been less surprised if I woke up on Mars.
- Mike Smith knows everyone. If anyone you’ve ever known ventures through Flagstaff, tell them to say that they’re tight with Mike Smith. It’ll guarantee free drinks and a cursory blow job from a show-pony.
- Find Paul at the Pay-N-Take. The Pay-N-Take is a bar/convenient mart that will completely change your opinion on capitalism. Paul is the owner/manager that could have talked Hitler out of the Holocaust. He handed out Pay-N-Take T-shirts like they’d fallen out of the sky. All the while, he whispered to us about the great rivalry between Georgetown and Villanova during the mid-80s. We’ll never know if Paul was using any drugs the night we were there, but for the sake of humanity, I like to think he wasn’t.
- This town loves idiotic bar video games. If you’re low on friends just drink till you forget your middle name, saddle up to the photo-hunt video game in the Monte Vista Hotel and make sure you have at least $40 in singles. It’ll surely be a night to remember.
Chuckblog would like to thank 7000 feet of altitude for making us disgustingly sick.
hm.
Take good care of Macauley. He’s gonna have his own biography special on the E channel someday.
I usually like hippies. Except when they are so stoned that they try to have a staring contest with you when you begin to leave a room (with some hope that you won’t leave their sorry ass). Today I belted “sionara sucker” to my hippy hair. Now I am a real woman. Real, just for you Amuirin.
I’ve been in Flagstaff…I stayed with some girls that danced naked around fires to celebrate the Earth spirits. No Joke. They were not cool. And they smelled bad.
Luckily we got to show those hippies by playing basketball and watching “gleaming the cube”.
catie- um. ty.
*mystified look*
you’re either really friendly, or someone bet you a meatball sandwich that I hit from the other side of the plate.
I don’t suppose you look anything like Lucy Liu?